A moment of respite.....

It is past 2 o'clock and I am in office waiting for my taxi to come and take me home....I don't think I am going to get any sleep tonight....partly coz I am too excited abt tomorrow....i am going HOME!!! as the clock strikes 5...i will be outa that gate hailing another taxi that will take me to the airport where like millions of other people I will board a plane which will take me home :)

...i gotta pack my bags....as soon as i reach home....some last moment things that i have to take care of....maybe i will watch some TV and wrap up my projects so that they don't come to haunt me over the weekend!

it has been a very stressful day......too many projects on my plate....deadlines....meetings....endless phonecalls....sifting through reports and numbers......I have had it.....next five days I don't give a damn.........let the whole world go to HELL!!!

HELP!! The Maniac's In The Driver's Seat!!!

"Get a life", I tell myself......well I have one.....but its not mine anymore....who is at the driver's seat? Oh God! Some maniac....who looks like me...but not quite! Well I am not gonna let her take it away!! Have to take control......

Life has become too hectic.....I am not getting time to do the things I like doing! Its a crazy feeling....days go by and I am loosing sleep over some deadline.....weekends I postpone things I planned to do....friends I wanted to call or meet....finish the last few chapters of some book i was reading....i have a fresh stack of magazines (i've given up on the older stacks!!) that I haven't even leafed through......so many half finished things...

It wasn't like this at all....back in high school...or even college...I was not bothered about where life takes me....was too busy having fun.....never bothered about class notes....someone would take them and I will get them when I need them.....it helped that my best pals were also the best in class! Yeah well i was no topper....but did pretty well....never had to loose sleep over exams.....would study like crazy and get them over with it.....and then never gave it another thought!! Laid back to the core.....or u cud say very focused....."get to the next level and in the meantime lets have fun"!

Another thing that I never did was plan ahead....what college to apply to?...what subjects to take up?....I was always on the we-will-see-then mode......I used to tell myself...."how does it matter? I will do something I'll like to do then....how do I know that now?" That used to take care of any momentary feeling of anxiety!!

I used to read books whenever I could.....in fact I used hide them behind my text books.....i was possessed.....obsessed....nothing else mattered!! Later on, when I was in college, I used to stay up all night reading....

These days I am just coming to office and going home.....its not that I am bogged down with too much work.....yes there is a lot of work...and I am enjoying it.....its just that when I am home I am still a bit stressed by it....the constant mental calculation on what work is to be done and what are my deadlines.....multiple projects....multiple deadlines....its great!! But i don't want to take it home with me......

I have stopped cooking...my kitchen is a mess......loadz of clothes to wash.....My room....aaargh! What an agonizing sight......This weekend I WILL.....I SHALL!! And although the whole world conspires to push me back to the dark depths of despair pulling me with their filthy little hands....I shall rise and take control!!

Ramblings....

It felt absolutely great sleeping in my bed yesterday nite....hehehe.....god I love my room....i missed it so much....
My comp......my books.....my bed.....
Have been ravaging my study table and bookshelves....small surprises everywhere....my prefect badge from high school...old photographs and letters.....my god its been ages since i got a mail....(rather snail mails as we call it these days!)...well the only thing i get these days are my phone bills and bank statements....and none make me happier!!
I came across two address books.....and two autograph books....they bring back memories don't they...the last day in school....faces flash by....but the names don't......so many people have written stuff about me...some honest...some feel good....but are they true....i don't know! hw much had they known me?.....was i really like that?......or have i changed so much over the years that i refuse to recognize myself.....
Leafing through i came across names and phone numbers....can i just dial and talk to whoever picks up?...ask for so-and-so....i tell myself ......"surprise me" and then smile.....naaaa....that's not me....i am too shy to do tat....lets see if life really takes that turn (as many have written in those autographs!) and you are left standing in front of that person u sat next to all of high school....
All is not lost though....there are some.... true friends....who have touched my life....taught me a lesson or two.....held hands......laughed and cried together.......
Life goes on and so does my quest for true friends.....

Hola there.....

Hello!

Have known about Blogger for quite some time now.....and have spent time reading ppl's blogs too. Just had a wild idea of getting one for myself....why do I say wild?....well that is because I am not much of a writer (tried keeping a diary....never got down to writing anything in it!!)

So, just went ahead and got one for myself.....just for the fun of it. I guess this has to be with the basic human character of always wanting to belong somewhere....anywhere....a lil' piece of land....oops! i mean space...in cyberland...with ur name on it!

Let me end my first post with lines from floyd.....

Hello.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?

Come on, now.
I hear you’re feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.

Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts:
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re sayin.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I can’t explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.