HELP!! The Maniac's In The Driver's Seat!!!

"Get a life", I tell myself......well I have one.....but its not mine anymore....who is at the driver's seat? Oh God! Some maniac....who looks like me...but not quite! Well I am not gonna let her take it away!! Have to take control......

Life has become too hectic.....I am not getting time to do the things I like doing! Its a crazy feeling....days go by and I am loosing sleep over some deadline.....weekends I postpone things I planned to do....friends I wanted to call or meet....finish the last few chapters of some book i was reading....i have a fresh stack of magazines (i've given up on the older stacks!!) that I haven't even leafed through......so many half finished things...

It wasn't like this at all....back in high school...or even college...I was not bothered about where life takes me....was too busy having fun.....never bothered about class notes....someone would take them and I will get them when I need them.....it helped that my best pals were also the best in class! Yeah well i was no topper....but did pretty well....never had to loose sleep over exams.....would study like crazy and get them over with it.....and then never gave it another thought!! Laid back to the core.....or u cud say very focused....."get to the next level and in the meantime lets have fun"!

Another thing that I never did was plan ahead....what college to apply to?...what subjects to take up?....I was always on the we-will-see-then mode......I used to tell myself...."how does it matter? I will do something I'll like to do then....how do I know that now?" That used to take care of any momentary feeling of anxiety!!

I used to read books whenever I could.....in fact I used hide them behind my text books.....i was possessed.....obsessed....nothing else mattered!! Later on, when I was in college, I used to stay up all night reading....

These days I am just coming to office and going home.....its not that I am bogged down with too much work.....yes there is a lot of work...and I am enjoying it.....its just that when I am home I am still a bit stressed by it....the constant mental calculation on what work is to be done and what are my deadlines.....multiple projects....multiple deadlines....its great!! But i don't want to take it home with me......

I have stopped cooking...my kitchen is a mess......loadz of clothes to wash.....My room....aaargh! What an agonizing sight......This weekend I WILL.....I SHALL!! And although the whole world conspires to push me back to the dark depths of despair pulling me with their filthy little hands....I shall rise and take control!!